Memory, Body and Image. Cailleacha damhsa (Dancing Hags)
The creative process as loop.
Kicking a new film idea into pre-production is tough, I resist opening the door to that idea because once its opened, even slightly, there is no closing it. I’m curious though and with wonder set to high I lean on the high window sill, just a peek through to the idea via a tiny crack in my work schedule. That glimpse though only makes the idea more alluring, so I turn the door handle a smidge while holding my breath. The tiny move creates an avalanche that slams that door off its hinges and advances with momentum that has me drowning, waving, as it moves forward. My only way out is up to birds-eye view, to maybe see the entirety, secure the guides in place, develop a strategy, be writing a list, writing a hundred lists.
This project is Cailleacha Damhsa (Dancing Hags), a shorter form of the full title of my PhD Cuimhne, Corp agus an Íomha Ghluaisteach (Memory, Body and the Moving Image). It is about Irish creator myths where giant woman dance with boulders in their aprons, about personal exposure and cultural inheritance. Old women dancing – how glorious. The project is also about me, about the ache in my bones to understand my culture and my ancestors, the line of women; warriors, monsters, and fairy folk, of which I am both sum and link. And how these women and me come to create the moving images that drip from me in silver rivulets, to grow like ivy around a stone circle.
My creative process is as familiar as breath yet as difficult as cleaning my ear with my elbow. As a project burgeons an order from chaos will arrive in its own sweet time, once is have been buried in its possibilities and options, and once my mind steps out of the way as film images arise rather than be hustled and bustled into a presumed shape. Biding my time though is unfamiliar, I both fear loath and demand a timeline. I try to be open to ideas, but often trash them. It’s a usual uncommon experience for me to bide, I am more used to pushing; pushing films, relationships, fotos, businesses, babies, artworks, events. This project demands I bide and bide I shall, allowing my body and my heart to lead.
If this trip is something that intrigues you, you can join in by subscribing to this blog, or asking questions where there is a social media spill over – insta, substack and/or vimeo. Any where with @erinmccuskey
This blog and its posts at #cailleachadamhas and/or #dancinghags will act as my journal as I engage with artists of different persuasions.
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