ON BEING REJECTED.
I give you… dut ut dut dar… Recent Rejects for Savouring.
Note: I always skim the reply email to find the key words, phases, details. No immediate emotion.
So many qualified applicants. (The most we’ve ever had! Wow!).
We are unable.
Due to resources.
Blah Blah Blah.
Such a difficult decision.
We are the best and you aren’t.
Please buy a ticket anyway. We’d love to see you!!!!!! (my emphasis!!!!).
Sure I’ve likely missed some classics. All my submissions must be missing something!
Ironically all this rejection has made me good at something! Wallowing!
Wallow: to indulge oneself, to loll about; physically and/or emotionally.
I wasn’t always good at it. When I did wallow it seemed I wallowed for ‘no good reason’. When a girl at school broke all my pencils, when my rabbit was eaten alive under my sisters bed by her cat, when I finished the last chapter of ‘Nancy Drew and The Case of the Vanishing Veil’, or whenever I got car sick. A family of seven kids meant that wallowing was not only an indictable offence, it labelled you weak. And we all know what happens to the weakest!
We come from bog Irish stock where hard work never killed anyone, apparently. Family wallowers were told by Mum to ‘Get on with it!’. Dad would back her up with a resounding ‘It’s not a holiday camp you know.’ So I grew up believing wallowing was to go about with pity for oneself. And put you in danger of having to do the dishes on your own.
So I grew up not even questioning the value of a good wallow. Thus my reaction to rejection has been to intellectualise it, as I am told to do by such respected players as those who recently rejected me. I’ve de-personalised it. I’ve re-evaluated my audience. Re-checked my community engagement strategies. I’ve re-read my submissions. I’ve pre- and post-pondered. I’ve changed my process. I’ve re-shaped ideas until they no longer resembled my ideas. I’ve wondered, and re-wondered.
I’ve done everything it seems, except wallow.
Yet somehow I felt the pull to wallow. To sink into a tub of self-pity so warm and sweet that I fear I may never need to do the dishes ever again.
So I’d like to introduce you to new concept in wallowing. The ‘speed wallow’. It seems at odds with itself; to indulge fastly; to loll quickly. However I believe completely in contradiction. Another family ideal to strive for, which I will elaborate on another time.
Speed Wallows are preferably shared by text (immediate gratification increases the speed of the wallow), email if you must (we all know its todays snail-mail designed to slow down your enjoyment), or in person with a bunch of terribly fabulous friends, who believe that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit (and hence very funny).
Lets start with a simple ‘Take the Piss’ Speed Wallow:
MY (Madame Yum): I didn’t get the gig with Nameless Projection Fest. Seems they wanted to create a narrative from what they are offered, rather than curate one. They also said ‘no feedback’. Here’s the door, its self-closing and will hit you on the arse on the way out!
MG (Mickey Gee): Gee could they give you a sentence of specific feedback? How hard is it to document their chats over Mexican donuts and yak infused siphoned coffee??
Here is an example of ‘Oh the Irony’ Speed Wallow:
MY (Madame Yum): I didn’t get the gig with State & Country hArts. First panel shortlisted me, second panel couldn’t see any artistic merit. Looks like Bob from Accounting got involved.
MG (Mickey Gee):Who know who’s on selection panel!! Maybe Joe from Joe’s Cool Organics Ararat Arts Squad. Wanda Thought-Leader from Inner Child Feng Shui. Ajay from Agile Solar Powered Drones. Frida the lung bending songstress from Andalusian Andes Rhythm Sessions. Dick from Yarra City Council.
Who doesn’t love a Sarcastic Speed Wallow:
MY (Madame Yum): I didn’t get the gig with About Because & Casual. I thought they were ideas people. I checked them on the tweeter. Their best idea was to call for ideas.
MG (Mickey Gee): Johnny from Empire Rubber called wondering why the products are broken.
And a ‘Really!’ Speed Wallow:
MY (Madame Yum): I didn’t get the gig with Fabulous Writers’ Inc. Apparently they wanted published writers. I publishly wrote to ask them for feedback and they said while I have experience writing, my writing isn’t of sufficient writerliness to get the gig. And besides there are many writers who do have writerliness but they are busy writing for someone else, and did not apply because the payment doesn’t reflect that level of writerliness.
MG (Mickey Gee): What?
Note: ‘Really!’ Speed Wallows often fall flat if receiver is distracted, or uninterested in your wallow. It can happen to the best of us. Keep practising by keeping up the wallowing, the speed will come later!
Feel better? A speed wallow is great if you don’t have the time nor inclination nor cash for an actual full blown wallow. Or if, like me, wallowing is simply unacceptable.
Now, where’s that White Oak Whiskey, you know the one that costs $150 pr bottle because it only gets made one month per year. Oh yeah head to Clever Pollies.
Mickey Gee & Madame Yum sharing a tipple for World Whiskey Day, at Clever Pollie’s North Melbourne.