Finding my signature moves. Cailleacha damhsa (Dancing Hags)
I’m a visual person, is it weird that I can’t visualise myself?
Kicking a new film idea into pre-production is tough, I resist opening the door because I am fully aware there is no closing it after that. I’m curious though and just a peek through a tiny crack creates an avalanche that slams that door off its hinges and advances with a steely chaos that with me drowning waving as it moves slowly forward. My only way out is up. I need to see the big picture I tell myself, secure the guides in place, have a strategy, be writing a list, write a hundred lists.
This project is Cailleacha Damhsa (dancing hangs), its about creator myths where giant woman dance with boulders in their aprons, personal risk, cultural inheritance, old women dancing – how glorious.
And each time I am reminded that order from chaos will arrive in its own sweet time, once I give into allowing the film images to arise rather than be hustled and bustled into a shape that doesn’t feel right. Bide my time, not rush it. Be open to ideas, trash them. Patience not pushing. Its an usual uncommon experience as most of my life has been about pushing to create, films, fotos, businesses, babies, artworks, events.
I’ve long wanted to work with Robyn Sedgwick, múinteoir damhsa (choreographer) and founder of Graffiti Dance Theatre. Our dance paths have crossed many times and my admiration for her work and vision grows each crossing. I ask if she will work with me on this film, a project that will see me dancing across my worlds in an attempt to bring together those parts of me. We book a room and begin. The music is pumping as we warm up for dancing, just the two of us, allowing the vibe to permeate. I’ve chosen ‘Right Here, Right Now’ by Fat Boy Slim it seemed fortuitous as a beginning. Its not finish before someone in the level above arrives in our doorway with a noise complaint. We laugh once they leave, its ok, this is not the place we need to be for this project exploration.
But we do get on with it, money has been exchanged! Robyn asks me ‘What is your signature move?’ and when she sees me intellectualising she gently admonishes ‘No thinking, let your body talk.’ And when my body talks its give a move we refer now as ‘Ta Da’, fitting beautifully with what my geography teacher would call me at times ‘showpony’.
At the end of the session we have a number of moves with meaning that we put on tape, as we used to say – recorded it for memory and rehearsal.
- Ta Da – signature move
- Twirl – how would you dance in Ireland
- Wave to backbend – how are you in the ocean
- Sway wrap lead to one leg – a series of moves finding my body doing the talking
We go to the pub after to talk, in images and moments and movement and stillness. Images like goddess pose with the ocean rushing underneath, taking up space, Mary Coughlan, Shel O’Toole, moving emotions, emotions in Gaeilge (Irish), kicking sand and kicking water.and I am reminded of the words Robyn uses throughout our time together – she talks of the ‘luxurious moves’ the moves that make the body feel, well, moved, something shifting, a feeling of lightness and rightness – of time and body being safe, joyful and hopeful, at the same time we are in the middle of a warring world. We old women can create joy simply by listening to ourselves and our bodies. But its not so simple is it?
Thank you for reading along, on this burgeoning project, where the way-finding will reveal, I don’t know yet, maybe more way-finding. You can join us by subscribing to this blog, or asking questions where there is a social media spill over – insta, substack and vimeo. @erinmccuskey
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