London, UK September 26h 2023 – Come Home Journal #36

A reckoning of the journey (turas) to tour Dancing Shadows in Ireland, a retrospective of my film works as part of the Come Home project.

“Would you like a coffee?”

As an independent experimental filmmaker I am used to working hard to create audiences often where none exist. The audience for the final screening in London was small. Small might be over stating the case.This was not unexpected. No one on this side of the world knows me or my work. This had been uppermost in my mind when booking venues. The venues in Dublin and Belfast were so very helpful. They talked to their community, sent posts, made website pages and included my screening on their email outs.

When I put my promo together I had expected that the places I screened could support the push using the media I gave them – postcards, post content, photos, links, showreels, trailers. I had built a veritable showroom of items to use. I was fully there to support them in being able to support me. And I’m grateful to both Mella at the Darkroom and Jo at the Strand who both really went out of their way to have many emails and zooms before I actually arrived.

The venue in London though was a stand out for their lack of support, despite my emailing with my showroom of ‘stuff’. They made the hire of their cinema difficult. Made it difficult to send them money. Refused to put anything on their website or socials. They didn’t make my cards available to current audience in the lead up. They wouldn’t take RSVPs nor sell tickets. Thankfully I was able to pay a long way in advance to both hold the date and to have them do a tech run on my files. It was not possible you see to have a full tech run until an hour prior to screening. Conniptions abounded.

Then as the screening was about to begin I took my place in the back row. I was offered coffee. It’s part of the fee you’ve paid. Well then of course, yes please. The cinema set up was beautiful and comfortable and I settled in to watch my film alone. I really enjoyed what turned out to be the most at ease I had ever been watching my own films. At last I seemed to be able to appreciate the nuance of my work, reflect on it with love and had time to really listen to what I was saying.

Until it got to be about 10mins from the end and my coffee had not arrived.

When I left the cinema I saw the person who had offered me coffee. He sucked his breath tight in shock at seeing me.

“You forgot me!” I said recognising what his surprise was about.

“I did, I’m sorry, would you like it now?” yet making no move to make it happen.

“Its a terrible feeling – to be forgotten.”

I shelved my secondary tirade, he didn’t deserve any more of my thought or attention. This place was not for me. It was not a story they were interested in.

So I resolved to fly home the following day. I had done my time, did what I set out to do. Now my football team needed me for the grand final. And the thought of seeing my Mick, my kids, their kids and my puppy were overwhelming.

IMAGE CREDIT: Secret by Erin M McCuskey

Image journal Collection – Ireland –  Flickr Album – Album – London